








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2073 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2834 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1817 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1710 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,519,429 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrSuperrs | 70% | 44 |
| #2 | ✪ St0rme | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | Dr. Edger | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | ✪Bonzo✪ | 60% | 58 |
| #5 | 14 avg animal | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aso | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | kazub | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ✪ St0rme | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ĐєηηєR ♥ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | MrSuperrs | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kazub | 495 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | Snowman | 293 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | ĐєηηєR ♥ | 216 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kurjen Jimmy | 177 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | aso | 147 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KartDude | +1.83 | 91 | 53 |
| #2 | hämrär | +1.20 | 90 | 71 |
| #3 | ✪Bonzo✪ | +1.09 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | Jaakoppi | +0.88 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | 14 avg animal | +0.72 | 89 | 60 |





