








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 638 matches | ||
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 2,120 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 223 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6037 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9802 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7961 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7204 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,325,728 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 626 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbooh | 65% | 139 |
| #2 | kazub | 64% | 84 |
| #3 | JAAKOPP | 64% | 78 |
| #4 | japey | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | ĐєηηєR ♥ | 62% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | 14 avg animal | 58% | 66 |
| #13 | aksuq | 56% | 323 |
| #14 | toot6fin | 56% | 104 |
| #15 | Snowman | 55% | 507 |
| #16 | MrSuperrs | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ĐєηηєR ♥ | 15 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Jbooh | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Snowman | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Repalena | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | aksuq | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snowman | 2771 | 0.25 | 88 min |
| #2 | Repalena | 638 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | aksuq | 585 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #4 | toot6fin | 430 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #5 | Jbooh | 372 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pate =D | +4.18 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | ĐєηηєR ♥ | +1.55 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | aso | +1.26 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | ✪Bonzo✪ | +1.23 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | Jbooh | +1.14 | 74 | 66 |





