








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 688 | 21% |
| Smokes | 757 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 942 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,856 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kidfisto | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | KneeGas | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Eriksen96 | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Make a Wish Kid | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | willy wanker | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Make a Wish Kid | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Shriska | 86 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #3 | jonrazz_ | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eriksen96 | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | kidfisto | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |





