








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 127 | 14% |
| Smokes | 290 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 293 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 197 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,592 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herget | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | DingoBanana | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | knaldfis | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | async | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | awP1vert | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | awP1vert | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | KrasseR | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | tehturner | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | Ramilade | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | ✪ Toffifeen | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | async | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | tehturner | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | DingoBanana | 1 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awP1vert | 80 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | async | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | tehturner | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | KrasseR | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ramilade | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | async | +4.00 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | DingoBanana | +3.84 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | Ramilade | +3.28 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | knaldfis | +0.41 | 50 | 41 |
| #5 | tehturner | +0.38 | 64 | 70 |





