








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 519 | 29% |
| Smokes | 319 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 359 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,279 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bones | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Cr4sh | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | joshh | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | sebse | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | ♥☯Nikls☯♥ | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ♥☯Nikls☯♥ | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | Gatze Minter | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Anjoh bumaye | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Benedikt XVII | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | TheLemon27 | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anjoh bumaye | 3 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | sebse | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Benedikt XVII | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4sh | 69 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | sebse | 66 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♥☯Nikls☯♥ | 25 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | Benedikt XVII | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | bones | 23 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4sh | +5.53 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | ♥☯Nikls☯♥ | +5.45 | 56 | 85 |
| #3 | DonHaugos | -0.18 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | sebse | -0.99 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | bones | -1.06 | 43 | 55 |





