








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3477 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2549 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3457 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3292 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,377,786 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Gatze Minter | 49% | 35 |
| #11 | Sinnerle | 46% | 37 |
| #12 | m4rio | 46% | 35 |
| #13 | sebse | 46% | 123 |
| #14 | Anjoh bumaye | 45% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anjoh bumaye | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Durakin | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | shax | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Cr4sh | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Beat It ♪♫♪ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4sh | 355 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Anjoh bumaye | 314 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | sebse | 311 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Beat It ♪♫♪ | 271 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | shax | 233 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beat It ♪♫♪ | +3.24 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Cr4sh | +3.24 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | 2 | +1.21 | 81 | 80 |
| #4 | p0ntifex_ | +0.87 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | bones | +0.58 | 50 | 51 |





