








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1724 | 39% |
| Smokes | 677 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 813 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,965 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4sh | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | joshh | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | Anjoh bumaye | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Beat It ♪♫♪ | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | sebse | 45% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | joshh | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | Anjoh bumaye | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Beat It ♪♫♪ | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | sebse | 45% | 195 |
| #6 | Gatze Minter | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebse | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | joshh | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Anjoh bumaye | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Cr4sh | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebse | 398 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | joshh | 148 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Anjoh bumaye | 87 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cr4sh | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Beat It ♪♫♪ | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beat It ♪♫♪ | +4.50 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | Cr4sh | +3.67 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | joshh | +0.59 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | bones | +0.58 | 53 | 48 |
| #5 | sebse | -0.03 | 72 | 64 |





