








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 962 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 749 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7677 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4754 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5643 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5129 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,872,843 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2941 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jok3r (Auuutistic) | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | CrUnKz™ | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | Tragedy | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | RaBB1T | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | sAinT ... | ... | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CrUnKz™ | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | Tragedy | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | RaBB1T | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | sAinT ... | ... | 49% | 73 |
| #6 | keqno | 48% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keqno | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | RaBB1T | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Jok3r (Auuutistic) | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Tragedy | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | sAinT ... | ... | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keqno | 317 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tragedy | 266 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jok3r (Auuutistic) | 262 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | RaBB1T | 171 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | sAinT ... | ... | 162 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jok3r (Auuutistic) | +2.12 | 79 | 38 |
| #2 | keqno | +1.54 | 74 | 54 |
| #3 | CrUnKz™ | +0.35 | 80 | 52 |
| #4 | EnderZ | +0.25 | 56 | 60 |
| #5 | sAinT ... | ... | -0.55 | 38 | 63 |





