








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 749 | 17% |
| Smokes | 646 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1551 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1539 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,771 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐓𝐢 MDXi | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | JoshKo01 | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Karpos | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | AssassinsFade | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Schweizermacher | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AssassinsFade | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Schweizermacher | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | SirWali | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | monsieur Cool. | 42% | 45 |
| #8 | TakeOnMii | 35% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monsieur Cool. | 11 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | TakeOnMii | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | AssassinsFade | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Schweizermacher | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Karpos | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monsieur Cool. | 65 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | TakeOnMii | 57 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | AssassinsFade | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝐓𝐢 MDXi | 42 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | SirWali | 22 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐓𝐢 MDXi | +2.46 | 77 | 77 |
| #2 | Pablo :) | +1.16 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | SirWali | +0.80 | 70 | 43 |
| #4 | Karpos | +0.72 | 75 | 47 |
| #5 | Schweizermacher | -0.53 | 74 | 35 |





