








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2321 | 33% |
| Smokes | 656 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2012 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2125 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,731 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo :) | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | 𝐓𝐢 MDXi | 49% | 169 |
| #3 | SirWali | 48% | 297 |
| #4 | JoshKo01 | 48% | 100 |
| #5 | Karpos | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TROLLOGY | 1039 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | 𝐓𝐢 MDXi | 541 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | PrinceN -N- | 447 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | SirWali | 204 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | JoshKo01 | 50 | 0.02 | 1 min |





