








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 56 | 2% |
| Smokes | 1036 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 886 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1281 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,198 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaFire | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | SiDeFiXx | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Kuri | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | :((( | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Zuboš | 54% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | divizion | 42% | 19 |
| #13 | Bob Bumble Bee | 40% | 40 |
| #14 | PJ Daddy | 39% | 111 |
| #15 | 2 way slashing playmaker | 38% | 29 |
| #16 | Frenky | 36% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frenky | 18 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Kuri | 12 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Turkey Hater | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | LastMan | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 8 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuboš | 472 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 151 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Frenky | 109 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Turkey Hater | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ShiftyJ_Jr | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |





