








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 578 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 436 | 3% |
| Smokes | 5367 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3439 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4532 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,277,677 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Bob Bumble Bee | 43% | 217 |
| #13 | Miky | 43% | 127 |
| #14 | Frenky | 42% | 511 |
| #15 | SiDeFiXx | 39% | 67 |
| #16 | rari tung | 39% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frenky | 127 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Kuri | 86 | 0.0233 |
| #3 | Turkey Hater | 58 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 49 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | 2 way slashing playmaker | 21 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frenky | 733 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #2 | Turkey Hater | 392 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 324 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | divizion | 282 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Zuboš | 263 | 0.21 | 6 min |





