








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 290 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6708 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5128 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4639 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4786 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,674 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turkey Hater | 64% | 64 |
| #2 | Frenky | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | Kuri | 61% | 49 |
| #4 | KaFire | 58% | 235 |
| #5 | PJ Daddy | 58% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frenky | 13 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Turkey Hater | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | KaFire | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | :((( | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kl€mßa | 296 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | :((( | 294 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | KaFire | 279 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | ShiftyJ_Jr | 115 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 89 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuboš | +4.22 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | LuKEK | +1.35 | 86 | 44 |
| #3 | Kuri | +0.28 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | ShiftyJ Jr. | +0.20 | 70 | 41 |
| #5 | kl€mßa | -0.13 | 67 | 61 |





