








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 554 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 155 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




245 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4433 | 24% |
| Smokes | 701 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 8920 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 4047 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,828 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bob Bumble Bee | 43% | 149 |
| #9 | PJ Daddy | 42% | 511 |
| #10 | Kuri | 42% | 119 |
| #11 | Miky | 39% | 174 |
| #12 | rari tung | 36% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuri | 72 | 0.0335 |
| #2 | Turkey Hater | 68 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | ShiftyJ Jr. | 58 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | PJ Daddy | 34 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Miky | 21 | 0.0058 |





