








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 420 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3998 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3275 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1829 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 752 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,137 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddubdaniel | 56% | 59 |
| #2 | [R4W]BAsyndrome | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | [R4W] daviddsherwood | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | [R4W]bish | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | [R4W] Eradicator | 48% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | [R4W] Eradicator | 48% | 206 |
| #6 | [R4W]Bemyhorcrux | 46% | 192 |
| #7 | [R4W]#✪ ReKt®™ | 41% | 145 |
| #8 | Betty Creamer | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | [R4W] Thomas Shelby | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [R4W]Bemyhorcrux | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | [R4W] Eradicator | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | [R4W]#✪ ReKt®™ | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | [R4W] Thomas Shelby | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | [R4W]bish | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [R4W] Eradicator | 596 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | [R4W]Bemyhorcrux | 518 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | [R4W]bish | 214 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | ddubdaniel | 175 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | [R4W]#✪ ReKt®™ | 108 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [R4W]bish | +2.63 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | [R4W]Rick Dicker | +1.98 | 52 | 60 |
| #3 | ddubdaniel | +1.87 | 46 | 40 |
| #4 | [R4W]BAsyndrome | +1.51 | 20 | 54 |
| #5 | [R4W]Bemyhorcrux | +1.16 | 26 | 53 |





