










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3794 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2732 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 668 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1313 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,290 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KekeRos6erg | 92% | 13 |
| #2 | McDonald's McChicken | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | LIMHO | 57% | 86 |
| #4 | IKun | 57% | 88 |
| #5 | Tiger_KMZ | 57% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IKun | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Tiger_KMZ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | McDonald's McChicken | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Hunterkiller | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | LIMHO | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIMHO | 336 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | IKun | 323 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Tiger_KMZ | 171 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | 秒速5センチメートル | 164 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hunterkiller | 116 | 0.20 | 3 min |





