








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1105 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 937 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1152 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,644 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walsh | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | burgerboy67 | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | samuel | 55% | 66 |
| #4 | vori | 45% | 111 |
| #5 | hemDAWG | 43% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemDAWG | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | walsh | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | vori | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | JayMack | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | samuel | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemDAWG | 449 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | walsh | 270 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | samuel | 253 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | vori | 149 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | JayMack | 144 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walsh | +6.37 | 59 | 75 |
| #2 | hemDAWG | +5.23 | 61 | 72 |
| #3 | walsh | +4.59 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | burgerboy67 | +3.35 | 49 | 69 |
| #5 | samuel | +0.47 | 63 | 43 |





