








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 720 | 23% |
| Smokes | 739 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 879 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,718 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gilbert | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | 'KM' | 70% | 47 |
| #3 | Kylester | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Zerpherr | 63% | 32 |
| #5 | Kaybee =) | 62% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mickyfoz | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | N8 | 50% | 12 |
| #11 | Seath | 50% | 14 |
| #12 | Jackmon- | 50% | 16 |
| #13 | yonkerzz | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaybee =) | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | 'KM' | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaybee =) | 380 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | Zerpherr | 131 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | 'KM' | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | shaundw | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jackmon- | 58 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'KM' | +3.19 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | Gilbert | +2.22 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | EL FABIOLO | +1.70 | 87 | 74 |
| #4 | Seath | +1.56 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | Jackmon- | +1.28 | 81 | 75 |





