








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1485 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1602 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1756 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1690 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,818 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickyfoz | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | atrox | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Static_Inner_Flow | 70% | 47 |
| #4 | Kaybee =) | 66% | 74 |
| #5 | Zerpherr | 66% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | MaC | 61% | 33 |
| #11 | Krowz | 57% | 14 |
| #12 | Kylester | 57% | 14 |
| #13 | Seath | 53% | 55 |
| #14 | SourceCode | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seath | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | ★Joker★ | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Kaybee =) | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Krowz | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaybee =) | 456 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #2 | Zerpherr | 159 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Static_Inner_Flow | 120 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | shaundw | 118 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Seath | 100 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'KM' | +3.69 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Seath | +1.88 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | atrox | +1.08 | 92 | 52 |
| #4 | sLy | +0.15 | 85 | 43 |
| #5 | Static_Inner_Flow | +0.12 | 66 | 71 |





