








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5102 | 47% |
| Smokes | 3071 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1909 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 749 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $927,079 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | agent | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | www | 58% | 155 |
| #3 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 58% | 316 |
| #4 | almond | 57% | 194 |
| #5 | subl!me | 56% | 294 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | muc | 54% | 89 |
| #8 | uripls | 54% | 28 |
| #9 | jdc | 52% | 98 |
| #10 | budder | 52% | 75 |
| #11 | dongoid | 51% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | almond | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | jdc | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | subl!me | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | www | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 1996 | 0.31 | 41 min |
| #2 | subl!me | 1038 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #3 | www | 646 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #4 | jdc | 527 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #5 | budder | 232 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LS49AG952NNXZA | +3.33 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | www | +2.99 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | subl!me | +1.71 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | milk | +0.88 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | muc | +0.80 | 80 | 55 |





