








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2229 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1954 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1078 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1736 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,941 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PHYLO | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Arctic | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Mythik | 57% | 51 |
| #4 | piK | 54% | 127 |
| #5 | yup | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | piK | 54% | 127 |
| #5 | yup | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | Shoodyman | 52% | 67 |
| #7 | Charles Lecroc | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | alrightdude | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piK | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | PHYLO | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piK | 491 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Shoodyman | 255 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mythik | 245 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | yup | 164 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Arctic | 116 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yup | +3.05 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | PHYLO | +2.94 | 83 | 75 |
| #3 | Shoodyman | +1.08 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | piK | +0.82 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | Arctic | +0.31 | 77 | 57 |





