








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1693 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2342 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1625 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1785 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,094,602 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volchorn:) | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | galvsitis | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Viesiti$ | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | hexagram | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | TOMSLV | 56% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lafla | 19 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | NemaiN Janka | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | TOMSLV | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Gaziks52 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Viesiti$ | 4 | 0.0047 |





