








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2982 | 47% |
| Smokes | 1143 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 676 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1531 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,456 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 775 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volchorn:) | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Gaziks52 | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | TOMSLV | 61% | 57 |
| #4 | lafla | 60% | 80 |
| #5 | NemaiN Janka | 58% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lafla | 17 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | TOMSLV | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | NemaiN Janka | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | volchorn:) | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Gaziks52 | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lafla | 282 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | NemaiN Janka | 232 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | AnriX | 188 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #4 | TOMSLV | 142 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | kajelz | 124 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hexagram | +3.89 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | kajelz | +1.80 | 62 | 67 |
| #3 | lafla | +1.27 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | TOMSLV | +0.88 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | AnriX | +0.77 | 69 | 69 |





