








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3946 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3453 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2073 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3047 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,981 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | p4rrotman | 52% | 65 |
| #8 | Senor VAC | 42% | 57 |
| #9 | kRONENNN ;. | 41% | 69 |
| #10 | PrinceN -N- | 39% | 46 |
| #11 | Bischof Stefan Oster | 39% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purple_Haze | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | p4rrotman | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Senor VAC | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Bischof Stefan Oster | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Tyt0_o | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frEddl_ | 423 | 0.35 | 12 min |
| #2 | Purple_Haze | 410 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | suw4t | 303 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tyt0_o | 285 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | PrinceN -N- | 281 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | +1.63 | 61 | 63 |
| #2 | Bischof Stefan Oster | +1.62 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | frEddl_ | +1.00 | 64 | 83 |
| #4 | suw4t | +0.62 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | p4rrotman | +0.46 | 81 | 60 |





