








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 916 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7356 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6954 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5418 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6959 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,607,937 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 939 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | 56% | 72 |
| #2 | Purple_Haze | 49% | 121 |
| #3 | suw4t | 47% | 175 |
| #4 | frEddl_ | 47% | 163 |
| #5 | ixdeeexD | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | xShelly | 44% | 123 |
| #10 | p4rrotman | 43% | 182 |
| #11 | Lolkopf | 43% | 110 |
| #12 | Kisuke | 43% | 47 |
| #13 | xEnoR' | 38% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4rrotman | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | xShelly | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Purple_Haze | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Lolkopf | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | IccE. | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frEddl_ | 1213 | 0.34 | 33 min |
| #2 | p4rrotman | 548 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Purple_Haze | 396 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | suw4t | 350 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | xEnoR' | 280 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IccE. | +5.38 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | ixdeeexD | +1.80 | 90 | 50 |
| #3 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | +0.99 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | xEnoR' | +0.82 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | p4rrotman | +0.16 | 79 | 63 |





