








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7856 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5663 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4833 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6100 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,748 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 714 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnsonDieYoung | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Mystery129 | 61% | 153 |
| #3 | Doyl | 56% | 102 |
| #4 | Pooky | 54% | 63 |
| #5 | Covie | 54% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | shockypoo | 46% | 67 |
| #11 | Faded ❟❛❟ | 46% | 35 |
| #12 | Ryder5k | 45% | 33 |
| #13 | Drewbie | 42% | 38 |
| #14 | KRAZED | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mystery129 | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Alexander Alexanderov | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Covie | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Doyl | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | n1kster | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mystery129 | 584 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | Covie | 300 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Alexander Alexanderov | 241 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | mistermyter | 234 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | n1kster | 228 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mystery129 | +2.48 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Ryder5k | +2.06 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | KRAZED | +0.97 | 69 | 45 |
| #4 | Covie | +0.87 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | shockypoo | +0.75 | 61 | 64 |





