








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 564 | 22% |
| Smokes | 851 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 340 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 752 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,677 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | CreatureOfHabit | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Rui2Pop | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | totte | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | ุLasse Bluten | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Its Ya Boi Timo | 56% | 18 |
| #8 | SU10KT | 55% | 29 |
| #9 | RageЯ | 53% | 32 |
| #10 | Tepid Waters | 48% | 23 |
| #11 | fbun | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RageЯ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | SU10KT | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ุLasse Bluten | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | totte | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Its Ya Boi Timo | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | totte | 92 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | SU10KT | 86 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | ุLasse Bluten | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rui2Pop | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | fbun | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | totte | +5.06 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | RageЯ | +4.05 | 82 | 42 |
| #3 | SU10KT | +2.05 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | Mango Margo | +0.55 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | Its Ya Boi Timo | +0.05 | 57 | 36 |





