








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 219 | 24% |
| Smokes | 175 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 289 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 236 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,717 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpenArch | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Imap298 | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | LAMBO | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Balls | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | rangerboyed2 | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | dog 3 | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | 0% HEADSHOT MACHINE | 44% | 48 |
| #8 | bowler | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | zoon | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | uwu | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rangerboyed2 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Balls | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | zoon | 1 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rangerboyed2 | 259 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | 0% HEADSHOT MACHINE | 232 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | bowler | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Balls | 59 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Imap298 | 16 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imap298 | +5.54 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | rangerboyed2 | +2.60 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | zoon | +2.20 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | bowler | +1.43 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | dog 3 | +0.52 | 90 | 60 |





