








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1828 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1517 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1311 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2377 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,236,063 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donald Dump | 56% | 71 |
| #2 | rangerboyed2 | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | Balls | 54% | 151 |
| #4 | Fall Guys Pro | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | 0% HEADSHOT MACHINE | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 0% HEADSHOT MACHINE | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | nop | 48% | 296 |
| #7 | BING CHlLLlNG | 47% | 58 |
| #8 | SkullCutter | 45% | 44 |
| #9 | Probing Cane | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balls | 16 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | nop | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | BING CHlLLlNG | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | rangerboyed2 | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | SkullCutter | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balls | 766 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | nop | 455 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | rangerboyed2 | 397 | 0.41 | 11 min |
| #4 | 0% HEADSHOT MACHINE | 281 | 0.57 | 8 min |
| #5 | Donald Dump | 250 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rangerboyed2 | +4.45 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Balls | +2.27 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Fall Guys Pro | +0.64 | 65 | 49 |
| #4 | BING CHlLLlNG | +0.27 | 58 | 41 |
| #5 | Donald Dump | +0.05 | 61 | 61 |





