








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3197 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2258 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3217 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1765 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,333 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouseppe | 55% | 192 |
| #2 | Livi | 55% | 86 |
| #3 | Ryxn | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | Dusk | 46% | 71 |
| #5 | skip | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jordan | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | Jay | 40% | 50 |
| #8 | Tholatros | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | caaaz | 36% | 14 |
| #10 | Myspo | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouseppe | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Livi | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Dusk | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Myspo | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Ryxn | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouseppe | 641 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Dusk | 267 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ryxn | 227 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Livi | 176 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | skip | 75 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | En.Krypted | +3.47 | 70 | 67 |
| #2 | Jouseppe | +1.01 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | Livi | +0.82 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | skip | -0.09 | 79 | 34 |
| #5 | Tholatros | -0.98 | 46 | 52 |





