








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2561 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1710 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1445 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1464 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,153 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tholatros | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Jouseppe | 63% | 62 |
| #3 | Dusk | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | caaaz | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | skip | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cod3yyy | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Casto | 4 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Jouseppe | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Rehab20011 | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | En.Krypted | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | En.Krypted | 180 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jouseppe | 158 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cod3yyy | 122 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dusk | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | skip | 64 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | En.Krypted | +4.97 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | Jouseppe | +3.01 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Tholatros | +2.98 | 40 | 56 |
| #4 | Livi | +2.98 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | skip | +2.66 | 77 | 52 |





