








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1992 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2599 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 454 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $641,749 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Putt Putt Saves The Zoo | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Chooch | 48% | 120 |
| #3 | Pookie | 46% | 52 |
| #4 | littleUwUziVert | 41% | 44 |
| #5 | Possum | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Putt Putt Saves The Zoo | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Chooch | 48% | 120 |
| #3 | Pookie | 46% | 52 |
| #4 | littleUwUziVert | 41% | 44 |
| #5 | Possum | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chooch | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Pookie | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | littleUwUziVert | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chooch | 233 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Pookie | 219 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | littleUwUziVert | 153 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Possum | 123 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Putt Putt Saves The Zoo | 53 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pookie | +1.62 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | gznate | +1.40 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | Chooch | +0.79 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Possum | -0.30 | 50 | 75 |
| #5 | Putt Putt Saves The Zoo | -1.20 | 71 | 62 |





