








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 594 | 27% |
| Smokes | 482 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 604 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 491 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,453 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gravel eater | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | Clove | 48% | 66 |
| #3 | Seung-Hui Cho | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | ItsAndr | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Volodya-({sN!p3r}]~(99*RUS*)~ | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Clove | 48% | 66 |
| #3 | Seung-Hui Cho | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | ItsAndr | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Volodya-({sN!p3r}]~(99*RUS*)~ | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | swagders | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clove | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | gravel eater | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Seung-Hui Cho | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | swagders | 3 | 0.0194 |
| #5 | ItsAndr | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gravel eater | 151 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Clove | 143 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Seung-Hui Cho | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ItsAndr | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | swagders | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clove | +0.87 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | gravel eater | +0.69 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | Seung-Hui Cho | +0.26 | 54 | 53 |
| #4 | ItsAndr | -0.11 | 49 | 58 |
| #5 | Kesse | -0.94 | 72 | 59 |





