










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1399 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1489 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1340 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1006 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,000 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrs pumpkin | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | swagders | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Miel | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | gravel eater | 53% | 129 |
| #5 | Clove | 53% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gravel eater | 53% | 129 |
| #5 | Clove | 53% | 139 |
| #6 | Beeb2 | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | Seung-Hui Cho | 51% | 87 |
| #8 | Kesse | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gravel eater | 23 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Seung-Hui Cho | 15 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Clove | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Kesse | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | swagders | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gravel eater | 456 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Clove | 334 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Seung-Hui Cho | 94 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kesse | 67 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | swagders | 63 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clove | +1.06 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | ItsAndr | +0.81 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | gravel eater | +0.20 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | Mrs pumpkin | +0.09 | 27 | 46 |
| #5 | Seung-Hui Cho | -0.30 | 49 | 56 |





