








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4722 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3679 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3721 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3319 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $870,035 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juuditulistaja | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | LiblaTaskja | 48% | 150 |
| #3 | priple '²³' | 48% | 122 |
| #4 | GreenBanana | 44% | 63 |
| #5 | ✪ NightMarEZ | 42% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | GreenBanana | 44% | 63 |
| #5 | ✪ NightMarEZ | 42% | 105 |
| #6 | Onioon | 40% | 80 |
| #7 | Ryan "Citroen" Gosling | 40% | 145 |
| #8 | lillekerohus | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiblaTaskja | 24 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Ryan "Citroen" Gosling | 17 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | ✪ NightMarEZ | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Onioon | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | priple '²³' | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | priple '²³' | 453 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | ✪ NightMarEZ | 343 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | LiblaTaskja | 322 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ryan "Citroen" Gosling | 173 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | lillekerohus | 101 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ NightMarEZ | +2.63 | 64 | 60 |
| #2 | Juuditulistaja | +2.58 | 62 | 63 |
| #3 | LiblaTaskja | +1.37 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | priple '²³' | +0.38 | 52 | 71 |
| #5 | Onioon | +0.20 | 44 | 44 |





