








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3415 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4406 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3357 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2899 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,810 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 711 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pterygoplichthys multiradiatus | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Mycose | 55% | 85 |
| #3 | Onioon | 48% | 112 |
| #4 | priple '²³' | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | portugal police | 48% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Onioon | 48% | 112 |
| #4 | priple '²³' | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | portugal police | 48% | 150 |
| #6 | ✪ NightMarEZ | 48% | 120 |
| #7 | Ryan "Citroen" Gosling | 46% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan "Citroen" Gosling | 23 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ✪ NightMarEZ | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Onioon | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | portugal police | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Mycose | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | portugal police | 520 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | ✪ NightMarEZ | 382 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | priple '²³' | 194 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ryan "Citroen" Gosling | 188 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Onioon | 170 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ NightMarEZ | +2.29 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | Mycose | +2.17 | 75 | 38 |
| #3 | LiblaTaskja | +0.67 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | Onioon | -0.37 | 45 | 42 |
| #5 | pterygoplichthys multiradiatus | -0.57 | 66 | 49 |





