








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 959 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 668 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8410 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6470 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 9506 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 11434 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,958,468 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VAntsen | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | ⛧𝕬𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖆⛧ | 59% | 49 |
| #3 | Teras | 58% | 183 |
| #4 | <OoloO> | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | ----TMR---- | 52% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ----TMR---- | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | KUSTI | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | ︻芫 一HAMSTER | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | <OoloO> | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | oLUXo | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ----TMR---- | 566 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | 01000111 | 350 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Teras | 333 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | PvE Player | 263 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Indigowizdom | 247 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KUSTI | +5.44 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | VAntsen | +2.81 | 86 | 68 |
| #3 | Teras | +2.34 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | FunnyTurtles12 | +2.01 | 62 | 62 |
| #5 | boTTom . | +1.82 | 81 | 59 |





