








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 960 | 32% |
| Smokes | 847 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 552 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $133,531 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashbang Fiasco | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Sinnex | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | michelangelo | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | Fresh | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | berkovskhy | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fresh | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | berkovskhy | 44% | 41 |
| #6 | MaT1337 | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | Cudak | 25% | 12 |
| #8 | A d i | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | berkovskhy | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | michelangelo | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | MaT1337 | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Fresh | 3 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | Cudak | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | berkovskhy | 103 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Fresh | 83 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | michelangelo | 74 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | MaT1337 | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sinnex | 37 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fresh | +4.54 | 94 | 61 |
| #2 | Sinnex | +3.02 | 96 | 61 |
| #3 | A d i | +2.15 | 93 | 79 |
| #4 | berkovskhy | +1.84 | 85 | 66 |
| #5 | MaT1337 | +0.98 | 73 | 66 |





