








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2991 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2539 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2953 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2304 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,882 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fresh | 61% | 140 |
| #5 | slevin | 61% | 18 |
| #6 | MaT1337 | 60% | 145 |
| #7 | michelangelo | 58% | 182 |
| #8 | KDG | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michelangelo | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Fresh | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | MaT1337 | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | KDG | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Sinnex | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fresh | 732 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #2 | michelangelo | 315 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | MaT1337 | 286 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sinnex | 252 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | sample ツ | 166 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sample ツ | +3.94 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | Sinnex | +3.54 | 96 | 70 |
| #3 | Fresh | +2.93 | 92 | 67 |
| #4 | berkovskhy | +1.63 | 87 | 68 |
| #5 | MaT1337 | +0.34 | 81 | 63 |





