








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2606 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1887 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 637 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1629 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $755,721 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parrish | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | wist | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | sletong | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Pancake | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | djtl | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lostfatboy TRADING | 17 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Pancake | 4 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | virx1 | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | djtl | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lostfatboy TRADING | 375 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #2 | djtl | 347 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 111 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pancake | 71 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | ◀Crona▶ | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sw1ft | +5.15 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | Parrish | +2.50 | 76 | 36 |
| #3 | Pancake | +2.18 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | Bronzey | +1.65 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | wist | +1.28 | 67 | 61 |





