








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1784 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1282 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1336 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,117 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qgel die Q. | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | SpiN | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | b M o 64.xe *MGK | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | bqAass | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | jascha | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Upssss- | 146 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | bqAass | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | SpitzhackenJoe | 72 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | shqipvenox | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | InfiniT | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qgel die Q. | +4.43 | 94 | 77 |
| #2 | SpitzhackenJoe | +2.19 | 76 | 88 |
| #3 | matscherr | +0.98 | 72 | 72 |
| #4 | Phil0 | +0.81 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | jascha | +0.45 | 86 | 45 |





