








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1061 | 27% |
| Smokes | 823 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 909 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,947 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marxo | 13 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Samir | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | bonerguy21 | 5 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | greg | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Arcckr | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | 322 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | greg | 164 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | penis envy | 162 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | Marxo | 99 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | DrakeLover69 | 83 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | +3.24 | 59 | 72 |
| #2 | Marxo | +2.17 | 30 | 47 |
| #3 | greg | +2.01 | 63 | 75 |
| #4 | bonerguy21 | +1.90 | 69 | 30 |
| #5 | DrakeLover69 | +0.13 | 50 | 37 |





