








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 792 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3195 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 1134 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1539 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,826 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Samir | 49% | 239 |
| #6 | greg | 49% | 188 |
| #7 | DrakeLover69 | 48% | 147 |
| #8 | Arcckr | 48% | 122 |
| #9 | D'Brickashaw | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | 22 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | bonerguy21 | 11 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | greg | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | DrakeLover69 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | penis envy | 7 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | 897 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #2 | greg | 548 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #3 | penis envy | 520 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | Jerusalem | 185 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | DrakeLover69 | 148 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | +2.85 | 55 | 72 |
| #2 | Marxo | +1.94 | 35 | 44 |
| #3 | bonerguy21 | +1.80 | 61 | 35 |
| #4 | greg | +1.65 | 65 | 77 |
| #5 | DrakeLover69 | -1.95 | 41 | 32 |





