








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3314 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2545 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3056 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1532 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,852 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonerguy21 | 63% | 64 |
| #2 | Jerusalem | 57% | 58 |
| #3 | DrakeLover69 | 52% | 147 |
| #4 | Samir | 51% | 228 |
| #5 | penis envy | 50% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marxo | 28 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | bonerguy21 | 15 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | penis envy | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Samir | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | DrakeLover69 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | 871 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #2 | penis envy | 599 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Marxo | 186 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jerusalem | 164 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | DrakeLover69 | 136 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | +2.95 | 54 | 75 |
| #2 | bonerguy21 | +2.10 | 66 | 31 |
| #3 | greg | +2.07 | 64 | 76 |
| #4 | Marxo | +1.49 | 35 | 42 |
| #5 | DrakeLover69 | -1.42 | 42 | 31 |





