








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1038 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1459 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 770 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 805 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,358 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Samir | 50% | 211 |
| #6 | Jerusalem | 50% | 42 |
| #7 | Marxo | 48% | 147 |
| #8 | Arcckr | 39% | 134 |
| #9 | D'Brickashaw | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marxo | 29 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Samir | 19 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | bonerguy21 | 19 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | greg | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | penis envy | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | 814 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | penis envy | 426 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | greg | 425 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | Marxo | 166 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jerusalem | 109 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samir | +3.29 | 56 | 74 |
| #2 | greg | +2.14 | 65 | 77 |
| #3 | bonerguy21 | +2.14 | 66 | 39 |
| #4 | Marxo | +1.38 | 36 | 44 |
| #5 | DrakeLover69 | -0.85 | 44 | 33 |





