








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 489 matches | ||
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4254 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6545 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8284 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5543 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,392 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feldbunker | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | koks.de @ onlyfans | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | Todeshauch SZ | 51% | 214 |
| #4 | vэt0 | 51% | 358 |
| #5 | Pacman | 49% | 476 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Todeshauch SZ | 51% | 214 |
| #4 | vэt0 | 51% | 358 |
| #5 | Pacman | 49% | 476 |
| #6 | bLiZzeViL | 47% | 138 |
| #7 | nunenoriu | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pacman | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Todeshauch SZ | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | vэt0 | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Feldbunker | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | koks.de @ onlyfans | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vэt0 | 597 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | Todeshauch SZ | 319 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Pacman | 220 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| #4 | bLiZzeViL | 202 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Feldbunker | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carl Rasur | +2.13 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Todeshauch SZ | +0.40 | 40 | 69 |
| #3 | Pacman | +0.17 | 54 | 51 |
| #4 | nunenoriu | -0.08 | 36 | 72 |
| #5 | bLiZzeViL | -0.86 | 44 | 60 |





