








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 433 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3430 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5413 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5951 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1962 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,581 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 880 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Carl Rasur | 51% | 358 |
| #4 | Todeshauch SZ | 51% | 284 |
| #5 | Pacman | 47% | 359 |
| #6 | Xero301 [GER] | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | bLiZzeViL | 43% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carl Rasur | 692 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | Todeshauch SZ | 425 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | bLiZzeViL | 224 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pacman | 175 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | Feldbunker | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |





