








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1049 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 190 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9818 | 21% |
| Smokes | 11593 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 15376 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 9299 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,938,969 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vэt0 | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Schlumpfi | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Carl Rasur | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Xero301 [GER] | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Pacman | 6 | 0.0010 |





