








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 608 matches | ||
| Wingman | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 174 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1955 | 9% |
| Smokes | 9590 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 7266 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4018 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,439,596 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Todeshauch SZ | 51% | 279 |
| #2 | Carl Rasur | 49% | 476 |
| #3 | vэt0 | 47% | 359 |
| #4 | Xero301 [GER] | 44% | 45 |
| #5 | bLiZzeViL | 44% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Todeshauch SZ | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Carl Rasur | 14 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | vэt0 | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Feldbunker | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Xero301 [GER] | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carl Rasur | 793 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #2 | vэt0 | 574 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | Todeshauch SZ | 407 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | bLiZzeViL | 200 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Feldbunker | 100 | 0.09 | 3 min |





