








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2819 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2223 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5112 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4085 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,513,233 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl | 61% | 61 |
| #2 | Inkeyz | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | Dobby | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | Homer ◥◣ ◢◤ | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | DaNi | 54% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DaNi | 54% | 195 |
| #6 | Schnellmelk◥◣ ◢◤ | 50% | 183 |
| #7 | Frosty ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 45% | 101 |
| #8 | Luzi | 42% | 33 |
| #9 | Shirley | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnellmelk◥◣ ◢◤ | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | DaNi | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Karl | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Homer ◥◣ ◢◤ | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Luzi | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaNi | 518 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | Frosty ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 267 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Schnellmelk◥◣ ◢◤ | 192 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Luzi | 149 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Inkeyz | 132 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzi | +1.73 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | CrixX | +1.72 | 92 | 62 |
| #3 | Karl | +0.97 | 69 | 52 |
| #4 | Inkeyz | +0.76 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | DaNi | +0.61 | 75 | 60 |





